Sunday, June 20, 2010 | By: Reenie

... but take your time, think a lot... why think of everything you've got; for you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not...*

The subject-line of his email to me today was ‘9’... means that he sees me in that many days- he has counted it down from ‘64’, one day at a time... it also means that he is waiting to see me. And yes, I have always known that I am his favourite child.

I have often wondered why though... I mean- why me? I mean- I can understand that ‘love’ does not follow rules- but me being a stubborn, one-track mind, emotional, unpredictable, depressive, solitary kind of a person that I am- I wonder why I’d be anyone’s favourite.

Not that I’m complaining though; definitely, not. For now- putting aside my worry for the kitten for the time that I will be away- let’s just say that I, too, am happy that I get to see my father in 9 days.

[*Post title from, Father & Son by Cat Stevens]

6 thoughts:

Kea said...

I hope your visit is a wonderful and truly special one, Reenie.

I'm an only child, so no competition for my parents' attention, but when I was growing up, my father was NOT a terribly nice person to his family, certainly was absent a lot and very emotionally distant, as well as verbally abusive. Two adults (mom and dad) who should NOT ever have married, no matter the romantic infatuation when they were younger.

But I had an "aha" moment several years ago, perhaps even a moment of grace, and finally, at 40+, was able to understand my dad better and forgive. I've been so deeply lucky to have a good relationship with him since, like "Daddy's little girl -- at my age. It's terrific. Doesn't change the past, but that inner shift (in me) and my father's own maturing and mellowing has made all the difference.

So I do wish you and your own dad much Light and Joy! :-)

Reenie said...

You know what, Kea... I had one such moment a few years ago, right after my grandmother's death, when I started to understand my mother.

She and I were very different, but it's the similarities that I never saw before then. I tend to be a little emotionally distant person myself and I never really had many close relationship... it's just so much easier to turn a blind eye about myself and point my finger at those who are so similar to me.

Not anymore. I am still closer to my dad, but I understand my mother better now. As I'm approaching the big Three- O, may be I am finally growing up.

Thanks for your well-thought comments, Kim. They are so insightful that they give me a kind of peace... :)

Jacqueline said...

I totally understand where you guys (Kim/Kea, Reenie) are coming from...I had an epiphany during my divorce when I was 35 years old after a 13 year marriage=Letting go of past hurt and finding real forgiveness in your soul is freedom...Happiness is a conscience choice and I try to choose it everyday!...I knew those realizations applied to all close relationships, including my parents and letting go of past hurts allowed me to get closer to them in the present.

The (un)Common Woman said...

Lovely right up and even lovelier comments! :)

I can so understand the one by yours Reenie, coz I have felt the same about my mother until a few months ago. I am glad I realised it. I love the both of them so so dearly!

Hope you have a happy meet with your dad.

Lovely song too!
Take care.

Reenie said...

@ Jacqueline,
Yes, I agree. In a way, I am still trying to find my freedom and I know how hard it is to walk those lines even though you say it so casually now. Hugs, honey- I'm glad you are on your way of finding your freedom. Love to your gorgeous girls, too.

Reenie said...

@ The Uncommon Woman,

I am glad you, too, are getting to understand your mother better with time. For me, I still cannot claim I do fully- but I'm keeping on.

Post a Comment

Related Posts with Thumbnails