Thursday, September 30, 2010 | By: Reenie


My ankle is still ‘healing’...

... and I have opted to wear those flat ballet style shoes meanwhile.

Trust me, I am not exaggerating when I say that those shoes are so flat that you can actually feel the texture of the floor underneath. There is a reason that I had absolutely forgotten that I had a pair of those after I bought them some time last year. They feel so weird!

To be fair- they are not all that bad... but they not only bring out my ‘petite-ness’, they even highlight on it. Why... yesterday at the work lunch room, my buddy Stevie actually shouted out loud enough for EVERYONE to hear:

‘Hey Reenzie, I never realized that you were so small! How cute!’

Well, I know- that IDIOT (though adorable) friend of mine!

But then, it is true, after all. I am 5 feet and 2 inches tall and weigh 51 kilos- I guess I am ‘small’... but at least he said ‘cute', if only to make me feel 'less' small!

Stupid ankle.

[Image source: Internet]
Wednesday, September 29, 2010 | By: Reenie

The colours of my wings

A little more than two year ago- when I finished my Masters from La Trobe, I swore I will NEVER put myself through it EVER again. Why? Well... it wasn’t the easiest university, not the easiest course and we were working very very hard to support ourselves and to pay for the sky-high tuition.

A few years down the line- I am on the eve of joining for my CPA courses. I made peace with going back on that promise of ‘no studies EVER again’. True that my hard-earned degree from LTU is now allowing me to join in the program on a ‘Professional’ level instead of the ‘Foundation’ level- and unlike many others I need to complete 6 segments and not 14... I know it is a chance worth taking and I am taking it.

Life, I expect, will not be easy for the next 2 years- like it wasn’t during my LTU years; but I have seen that my insane efforts during those years have paid off, maybe this time it will too. I needed to give it a try... because it is a part of my nature to make myself a cocoon every once in a while, just to harvest my butterflies. After all, there never was a reward if you never worked for it. Let no one tell you otherwise. Trust me there WAS effort, even when they have made it look effortless.

So there I go... doing exactly that- trying to find the colours of my wings. Won’t you wish me luck?
Monday, September 27, 2010 | By: Reenie

Take these shoes and make them fit

Oh well... I twisted my ankle this morning while coming to work. I know. Ouch.

Granted that today was a rather chaotic public transport day, that I had high heels on, that I might have had some U2 rhythm passing through me from my ears to my feet, that it was before the time of the morning when ‘cognition’ finally kicks in, or that it was not really my fault that the escalator had stopped suddenly with a jolt...

... the fact remains- my poor hurty feet cannot serve me today and neither can those lovely impractical shoes that I had on; and not to mention, every time I try to move my foot? There I go again: Ouch!

I guess it calls for a day easy on my feet (which is mostly fine), a mellower playlist (or not... I love U2 way too much!), a designated driver, and less number tours to the downstairs coffee shop (this- of all things- HURTS, mate... this hurts BAD!)... What? I have ALL my priorities figured out and in place, don’t I? Hehe.

In other news, I am having a limpy LOVELY day, LOL! How about you?

[Title Credit: Yahweh by U2]
Saturday, September 25, 2010 | By: Reenie

A Long Walk

I remember we had taken a long walk that October day.

It was a little girl’s 3rd birthday and we walked till we found a perfect outdoor barbeque spot to celebrate. The house that we lived in then was too small to have a birthday party with 7 guests, you see?

That day turned out to be a lot of fun- the little girl was excited to have turned three and in her fluffy little world with red, blue and yellow Teletubbies and a doll named Nile Baby dressed in blue (or was it some other colour? Memory fails me now), she was the ‘princess’- and the rest of us, we were important parts of it too.

That little girl now lives oceans away. She still is a princess in her world- but we do not play a major role in it anymore; life has changed for us too. For one- we now live in bigger houses; we can now host birthday parties with 20 guests...

We do not walk all that much either, we drive... and it is only when I come across some photographs of those ‘hard’ days and I find myself 'missing' those days, that little girl and a handful of friends.

What can I say? I guess I am just weird like that.

[PS: I realize in this photo all of us grown-ups are wearing black jackets and blue jeans; and I happen to be the only one wearing sunnies! There you go Agnes, now you know how I look!]
Thursday, September 23, 2010 | By: Reenie

Findings in unlikely places

Never underestimate the power of little things, my friends!

... things like a vanilla scented candle left on your desk by a dear old friend, a happy and healthy kitten looking up with blue eyes full of love, waking up to a nightmare and finding the Crazy boy reaching out, a generous cheque from the pet insurance company to fill out the recent gaping hole between our debits and credits, a friend at work specially making a detour on his way to a meeting just to drop a little compliment...

What can I say? Life sometimes just balances the bad stuff with the good ones, I guess... :)

I may have sounded a little negative in my writings lately, but well... let’s just say that those bad days are real too- even when I know that good days will come , even when I know that life is not all that bad... some days even the strongest needs a break from being strong after all!

Some days, however, it does not take much to ignore a loud rude colleague or to forgive someone for a no-show on an 8:30am meeting... and with some help, perhaps in form of a scented candle, a pair of lovely blues, a reassuring touch, a less-wobbly ground underneath and generous helpings of those ‘masala chai’s from that downstairs coffee shop- I am getting there too!

... just hang in there with me meanwhile, will you? :)

[Art Credit: Vegetable Assassin]
Tuesday, September 21, 2010 | By: Reenie

You know I took the poison, from the poison stream... then I floated out of here

I have suddenly gotten so busy that it’s almost hilarious; I said ‘almost’, mind you...

... somewhere between drowning in CPA paperwork, work work and work, the debits and the credits, options weighing, the rain, the headache and the sinusitis- I have misplaced ‘dear old life’.

If you get to come across my ‘dear old life’- can I request you to please return it to the blogosphere....? Hehe.

In other news- work is very stressful these days, Crazy’s university now has one of those envy-worthy mid-sem breaks and the next public holiday is not before November... looks like that is when I will finally get to resume my task of finding where ‘dear old life’ is hiding away!?

... till then, holding onto my ‘rapidly shrinking in supply’ sense of humour to compensate seems to be an option... of course I live in naive hopes that it will not run out!

What? I can hope, can’t I?

[Title Credit: Running to stand still by U2; Art Credit: My lovely matie, Veggie]
Wednesday, September 15, 2010 | By: Reenie

Cracks in the Foundation

Yesterday, in the interview- the recruitment agent asked me where I see myself in 5 years; I told him that I cannot possibly tell, as personally I choose not to plan that far ahead- but I think I want to be a full-CPA in the next two years and a Management Accountant in six months.

His smile told me that he liked the answer. I smiled too- because in this black and white Corporate world- it takes something to appreciate candidness. Then of course- he may be just one good apple in a basket of many average ones, he may only make a ‘ripple’- but it can be a start. After all- I, for one, never quite understood why the Corporate world HAS to be so fake ever so often; do you?

In related news- things are changing here in Reeniestaland- my friends... I never liked changes and took me ages to take the first baby step into the big bad world... but sometimes until it reaches that point- you do not really know that the time is right... as for me, it took one recently-joined ill-mannered colleague to wake me up from my happy reverie and realize: it is time I flew away, I deserve better!

... and now that the realization has hit home- there is no looking back; things are now bound to change... for better or for worse.
Monday, September 13, 2010 | By: Reenie

It's a strange thing I know, when the moon doesn't glow and it's as close as I think I'll ever get

Some days all you need is to take it easy... today is one such day for me, and I am.

... I am home on a Monday :). Will you agree with me if I said that Mondays are the best days to be home?

... I am such a homebug that there is nothing I enjoy more than a sleeping kitten on my lap while I relax on my favourite sofa watching out of the window; I am doing just that right now. Will you think I am silly if I said that I absolutely love the sounds of my empty house? Well, I do- I always was a sucker for solitude after all.

... You can laugh all you like when I tell you that I had milk and cereals for lunch today, but there is a strange kind of freedom in breaking those silly rules... so yea, keep on laughing as I keep ‘em stuffing :); besides- please explain- what is wrong in having cereals for lunch? I'm waiting.

... I am also waiting for the vet to call me with the follow-up test results. My instincts tell me that my kitten is getting well and yet my fingers hurt from keeping them crossed too tightly for too long. I guess I, too, have been trained to distrust my intuition. What a pity!

Have a peaceful Monday, everyone! I know I am :).

[Image Credit: My dear friend, M-Mono; Title Credit: Let's Fall Back in Love- Slow Club]
Saturday, September 11, 2010 | By: Reenie


This world has not been the same since after the 9/11.

And, today my thoughts are

... with my very dear friend Ellie, whose life changed drastically following the 9/11....

... with those (including Ellie's husband Liam) who perished with the towers...

... with those who are/ were victims of mass generalization and much discrimination- following an epidemic of 'post 9/11 thought process' that goes in the line of 'Muslims = Terrorists'... Please remember that there is good, bad, great and evil in each and every group... and while 'generalization' is the easy way, it is not the right one.

... and finally and foremost those- like Ellie- who lost a loved one when the towers came crashing down. I cannot even imagine the extent of this loss and I do not want to underestimate it by saying that I do.

I am very very sad for what this world has lost after those planes crashed themselves into the towers. I really am.

I would think you are too.

[Image Credit: Internet]
Friday, September 10, 2010 | By: Reenie

Mercury, come back...

I have always been stubborn... more during my teens than now. Those years, when the liquid mercury in me turned into hard steel by some dark magical power every now and then- I was no less than that bull you may have read about. I would be blinded in the one-track-mind maze and ‘get it done’- focus, small goals, hit... rinse, lather and repeat- everything else forgotten.

Through the years, I changed somewhat... I grew up and let my hair down. Many a times situation demanded the steel and sometimes I would allow it too; but ‘stubbornness’ was no longer my ‘defining’ characteristic attribute, because those incidents were few and far between. I’m not sure I have a defining attribute anymore- I gathered life was too short to be taken too seriously and actively started to seek out ‘peace, quiet and laid-back-ness’ instead... and most of the time, this philosophy worked to the point that the 'steel' was forgotten.

Then yesterday, I felt it again- the steel. I now know that the steel-headed bull in me still exists... and for my own sanity– I'm hoping that it is not long now till I have started with my CPA Programme enrolment and landed myself on to a new job.

... because in my current one, I may have just had enough :).
Wednesday, September 8, 2010 | By: Reenie

Off with the Fairies and Sunflowers :)

Today I feel my sunflower spirit creeping in inside of me- I have little choice otherwise when we have sunlight this pretty.

Today, I’m looking up- instead of down- and trying to feel the warmth of the sun on my face, like a sunflower does. Don’t you think sunflowers look very happy somehow? Why? The mere sight of yellow sunflowers makes me smile so! Do they make you smile too?

As I was saying- today is a good day, my friends- with silver sands, blue waters, white clouds, saltwater air, bright bright sun and a spirit in me that originally belonged to a sunflower- I’m sure.

I hope each and every one of you are having a great day today... I really do.
Monday, September 6, 2010 | By: Reenie

Pennies in the well...

The floofy little kitten surely knows the art of ‘looking good no matter what'; because though you are definite to catch glimpses of his shaved belly (ultrasound), the shaved throat (blood test), one shaved front leg (drip) and then another one (another blood test) every once in a while... then, one look at those striking abundant-blue eyes and all else seems inconsequential...

... those are my moments of wonder.

I have my moments of heartbreak, too, realizing that those missing patches are the evidences of the illness that has grown in his young body; but in a less depressive way- those are also the evidences that we are trying to get him well, these are our efforts and the evidence that he is loved... that should count to be something, right?

I do not much expect ‘fairness’ from life- I have seen that it mostly isn’t, I am not a religious person- I do not have a God, I am more a cynic than I’d like myself to be... but one thing I do believe is that ‘giving a damn’ can take you a long way, because you try more when you do... and it is that ‘care’ that teaches us that ‘giving up’ is actually much much harder than ‘hanging on’.
Sunday, September 5, 2010 | By: Reenie

I just need a compass and a willing accomplice...

I realize I needed a weekend like the one I had this time... a weekend to tend to my inner hermit, to heal, to rejuvenate... hence- I stayed in watching the silly storm from the window, cooked a few things, cleaned the house, fussed over the kitten not having his food mixed with 2 different medicines fast enough, browsed through a lot of blogs and even found a few I could follow...

I apologise if I seemed far-away. I know some of you were concerned.

... and for those of you who were- here is the news: the kitten’s ultrasound showed Cholangiohepatitis (a liver disease) on top of Pancreatitis and it is still not at a level that one can be comfortable about... but it is imperative that I need to ‘hang on’ and ‘jump the hurdles’ and a little ‘me time’ can take one a long way; or so I hear...

All I know now is that it is just a beginning of a journey with many medicines, blood tests and ultrasounds, a cute fluffy kitten and many shaved patches of furs... and an episode of our lives... and I, for one, need to be ready with my bullet-proof vest and shield... albeit for lack of any other option... to step out to the real world to fight, fight and fight... and bring my world back in order. I intend to do just that.

In other news- it was a rainy weekend over here... but I hope tomorrow is a sunny day :).

[Title Credit: Crystal Ball by Pink; Photo Credit: Crazy]
Saturday, September 4, 2010 | By: Reenie

The Series of Saturday Spoonfuls: Some Adult Humour

For this week's Saturday Spoonful, I'd like you to click this please. Go on, CLICK!

Yes, do check it out if you want a laugh. I assure you it is not a spam and it has been there for at least 4 years now (at least that is when my friend Simz sent it to me by email. Hi Simz!)

However... one tiny disclaimer, if you do not appreciate adult humour and make it a point of NOT enjoying crude jokes- don't click :D. As for me, I laugh at crude jokes... I guess I cannot claim to be much of a lady... hehe!

For some more Satuday Spoonfuls- click here- however this is only the second entry for the series and there isn't a whole lot of it... YET!
Thursday, September 2, 2010 | By: Reenie

Black & Blue

Some days I forget easily... and on those days, I’d like you to remind me please...

... that giving up is not an option.

... that fighting back and keeping on trying is the only way- over and over again, if necessary.

... that I have done it before and I can do it again.

... that even though the ultrasound results showed things not fit for a cat as young as my kitten, we need to fight... we need to keep at it. We need to get it right.

... that giving in to the floodgates will do me no good.

Remind me please... you will do me a big favour by telling me to get my sh*t together and ‘man up’... because on some days performing those simple acts that may be categorized as signs of ‘manning up’, are not so simple.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010 | By: Reenie

Dust and Sea Breeze

I brought my walking shoes to work today- the idea was to take a walk along the beach area during my lunch break and, to be honest, my pretty work-shoes only serve the purpose of ‘fashion’ and not suitable for umm... some practical things like.... let’s say...maybe... walking? Now, don’t you judge me; I happen to be a ‘girl’, you know...

... and I may be that shallow-head-lusting-after-impractical-shoes (and cute handbags) kind of a girl every once in a while (okay, MORE than just once in a while!), but it is the same me who think that it is much easier to love life if you have dust on your shoes and sea breeze in your lungs... and walking shoes are THE way to go!

... and even though my comfortable walking shoes were unworn today as my lungs were filled only the conditioned air of my office, even though it rained and the temperature went down to those annoying small degrees, even though there was no drastic sign in the nature in acknowledgement of the first day of Spring as I secretly kept hoping, I’m NOT fretting. I’m really not.

... because I see that the days are getting longer every day, because I know in my heart that when I FINALLY manage to take that walk, it will be worth every bit of it. I just know it will be.

I guess I have to stay put till nature has the chance fulfil her promise.
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