Monday, April 23, 2012 | By: Reenie

Are you ever ready?

It’s been months I have been pushing it farther deep inside… you know that nagging voice in my head that tells me incessantly that I’m not ready. It is nasty, that voice: it points at my overgrown yard, my mismatched bed socks on a Saturday morning, my exhausted not-so-attractive pregnant body, the ‘stretch marks’ that have started appearing, the bedroom# 3 that needs ‘fixing up’, the unfinished nursery (so much to buy!), the paperwork I’m yet to complete, a crazy schedule throughout May with ‘birthing and labour’ classes and what-not…

… it mocks at me whispering: ‘Oh, you are so not ready!

In a way, I know that voice is right. I probably am not ready. But it bothers me much less now than it did before- because I kinda realized I would never have been ready, I have always been ‘cautious’ that way…

... and also, to be fair on myself, I probably give myself much less credit for what I am capable of; after all the kitten has taught me a few things about myself, like- I can be protective, passionate, caring and selfless with a very strong maternal instinct that has driven me to the end of the world on many occasions to make sure my baby (baby#1, the kitten) is safe, healthy and is treated right [Big words, I know, but do you have anything smaller that you can describe ‘parenthood’ by? I don't]

… and that tells me it’s probably okay, that we’ll probably be okay… and that I may not be the best- but I will probably be an 'okay enough' mum.
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