Friday, May 18, 2012 | By: Reenie


I have always found it silly the way memes about greatness of mums get passed on, on Facebook or wherever, of the sacrifices a mum makes- dark circles for flawless complexions, sleepless nights, nappy bags for designer bags and how the mums want recognition from the world for ‘giving it all up’. I find this need of glorifying silly, because having a child is a matter of choice. Once you made the choice, you cannot do it any less [well, except for getting a ‘designer nappy bag’ perhaps ;)].

... but then I realized that there are instances when women became mothers because their partners wanted a child- not because THEY wanted one, there are women who do not have a say over their bodies, their lives, their decisions- as a woman they are ‘expected’ to be mums/ wives/ anyone but themselves… and uneven decision-making is a part of many women’s lives. I have seen it in many- it is commonplace in Asia, it is commonplace in the religion my mother practices, it is commonplace behind the closed doors sometimes in the West too… it is perhaps more common than the common you and I can fathom.

I don’t readily understand those memes perhaps because I belong to the ‘lucky club’- the man that I call my own was never under the illusion that having a penis is what gives him a upper hand in our relationship; I do not have a religion - I have actually rejected the one I was born into, one that demeans women and brainwashes them in such a way that even they themselves do not see it and though time will tell for sure- I think my Crazy will be a wonderful father to our child, just as he is a wonderful life-partner to me…

… and those dark circles, sleepless nights and nappy bags will be as much a part of HIS life as they will be mine.

... those seem silly to me because though my life is changing in enormous proportions, so is his life… we are in it together and, for me, there just can't be any other way...

... and that makes a difference.

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